A wedding, a party and too many goodbyes

Brace yourself, this will be looong.)

So this is it. After six months, my last night in Kenya. I’m a mix of emotions. I’m sooo excited to be back home with family and friends. But not excited about not knowing exactly when I will come back to Kenya and see all of my wonderful friends.

I decided to go big for my last weekend it Kenya. I went to a wedding Saturday. I really wanted to go a wedding since I’ve been here and finally Nkita, my host mom was able to take me to one. It was fun. I love weddings in general so a Kenyan wedding was great. It’s so active. I was tired by the end of the day. Today I had a going away party. Many of the people who have made my time in Kenya so special were there. It was a good time. It ended up being more of a party in terms of food than I first thought, but that’s parties in Kenya for you. It’s a requirement that there be lots of food.
Nkita was in the choir.

Dancing with Nkita.

So here’s what follows. I wrote a letter to Kenya, summing up my feelings upon leaving. I wrote a lists of the things I’ll miss most, and what I won’t miss J. And a little about all the super important people that I love here. I think I’m trying to make up for my lack of bloging the past two months.

A letter to Kenya

Dear Kenya,
You have really challenged me. You did not conform to my idea of how things should go. You had different plans for me. You were messy, impossible to contain. You’ve shown me things I never wanted to see. Things that would have been much easier to ignore. Injustices that we’re hard to see and tolerate, and understand fully. You made me face the uncomfortable everyday. You made me angry and frustrated. Many tears have been cried because of you. You’ve forced me to acknowledge and come to terms with my privilege. At the same time take the responsibility that accompanies that privilege. You have shown me that sometimes giving and helping is not always easy or simple. That compassion takes responsibly and care. It’s messy and complicated. If you really want to help you must look deeper, see what your contributing to. You can not simply donate, give money, or come in and build, it’s so much more than that. It’s responsibility. It’s not about dominance, or knowing what’s best, it’s about care, relationships, and mutuality. Oh Kenya it’s been tough. You have taught me many lessons. Hard lessons.

Oh my, I will never forget all the wonderful things you showed me. Your beauty sometimes hidden but always present. Your unfailing perseverance. The potential and hope seen at every corner. Your natural beauty! My, you are a beautiful country. The trees, the hills, the sun setting and green-ness of it all! I think people got tried of me constantly commenting on your beauty. The friendships you’ve given me, the people you have allowed me to know. Wow I feel so lucky and blessed thinking of these wonderful people. Seriously you have shown your beauty and kindness through your people. You have shown me true compassion, hospitality, and what it is to give. The meaning of family and helping each other. You’ve taught me how to care, how to see, and how to listen. You have blessed me immensely. I’m so thankful.

Yes Kenya, it was rough. Sometimes it just sucked. Many days I wanted nothing to do with you. But you stuck with me, you taught me in patience and truth. You showed your true self, the very best and the very worse. But you always showed HOPE. Kenya you are beautiful and I’m blessed to know you. Thank you for giving me what nothing else could.

Love, Julia
aka Njoki


What I will miss most:

Chai Tea all the time
All of my amazing friends here.
All of those adorable babies and children who smile at me and say Mzungu Mzungu!
The trees, the sunsets, how freakin beautiful this place is
Chapati’s
Fresh fruit all the time and it’s cheap
Java House
Unpredictability
Random-ness
The everyday adventures.
The People.

Things I won’t really miss
Drunk men at all hours of the day.
Sukuma Wiki
Matatus (I think I might miss this after a while (they have been a huge part of my time here), but today as I sat shoved up against an old man with half my butt on a seat and another guy practically sitting on me hitting my hit on the ceiling at every bump, I decided I wasn’t going to miss it )
Confusion
Jay the cat
The roads


All the people I’m so thankful for!

The Browns. Doug and Sue have been great. Atara’s parents have been so kind to me! Long after Atara went home they continued to have me over, let me used their internet, do laundry (so thankful) and just offer support and understanding. In fact I’m sitting on their couch as I write this. They are taking me to the airport tomorrow. I could never repay their kindness. I’ve been so blessed.


Nkita. Wow this woman is amazing! I stayed with her my first three extremely challenging weeks. She took me back in in December. Nkita works so hard and cares so deeply for those around her. She has one of the biggest most compassionate hearts I’ve ever seen. She showed me the goodness of Kenya. In fact her whole family has been amazing. Angus who helps out in the house is like a sister to me. Her English is limited and my Swahili is limited but we’ve managed to become close. She’s taught me that there is much more to communicating then just words. She has such a joyful and playful spirit, it’s impossible to not be happy around her.


Salome and her children. Wow this woman is amazing. Her friendship has been one of my most treasured things I leave Kenya with. She is so wise and has taught me so much. I’m truly grateful. Mama Shiro is pretty great too!


Jay and Betty! Good friends!


My Kisumu Family. Oh I’ll never forget my time in the village. I loved my time there. The kidha’s were so KIND and AMAZING. I just loved this family. Nancy, Ruth, Christine, Max, and even Dan who I’ve only met over facebook, thanks for letting me be a part of your family. So thankful.


I miss this kid! B you are so stinkin cute.

My Nakuru Family. So sad I didn’t get to go back one last time. Man, this family is great. I have so many Amazing memories with them. They truly took me in as one of their own. I feel like they are one of my forever families. So many fun times, dancing in the living room late at night, chasing away “snakes” and watching storm over paradise.

Everyone else! I’m getting tired but there are many more people who made my time here special.

Thank you everyone for following my journey. For praying for me and thinking of me. Thank you and sharing in this with me. I would LOVE to share more. I felt limited by this blog, in what I could and how I could share it, but if you want to know more just let me know!

This week has been hard. Since I came back from the village I haven’t felt well. I had this horrible migraine, felt weak, and just sick and on top of it really anxious about leaving and getting this work done. I was just ready to be home. Feeling so sick and knowing that home is so close, just made me want it so much more. I decided to go the doctor to make sure it wasn’t anything serious like malaria. It wasn't just a UTI and I think a stress induced migraine. I got some drugs and I’m feeling so much better. They said it was a urinary tract infection which I thought was super weird since I had none of the normal systptoms but whatever drugs they gave me are making me better!

Even when I feel well I can’t help but be really excited about going home in like 15 days. I’ve been here a long time. It’s been beautiful and wonderful, but it’s time. I will miss my Kenyan friends and families dearly, but I’m excited to see my Washington, Oregon, and California friends and families.

So Julia what are you going to do for the next two weeks?
Thanks for asking! Well I still have a few interviews for my Research Project. Talk about last minute! But it’s only like 3 or 4 and they are super busy people who I’ve been trying to talk to since December. So hopefully those interviews will happen.

I’m doing a lot of writing! Or at least I should be. No, really I’m going to be writing quite a bit the next two weeks. Please pray that I write a lot.

I’m going to enjoy time with friends here. I plan to go back to Nakuru to say goodbye to my amazing family there. Oh and I need to finish buying gifts and stuff I want to take home. Lots and lots of Kenyan tea for sure.

I really miss the village. I miss the beautiful trees and the sunsets, the relaxed lifestyle. I miss the amazing food. I miss taking my bucket bath in the bathing stall under the hot sun. I miss naps in the shade. I miss “helping” cook. I miss being tucked into my mosquito net every night by one of the girls. I miss laughing with the girls and being made fun for my ridiculous attempts at Luo.

back in the city

I’m back in Nairobi. I took the 9 hour bus journey (that includes stops and traveling to and from the bus stations). It’s hard for me to travel long distances on public transportation here, because I always fall asleep if I‘m in a moving vehicle for more than 20 minutes (except if I'm the one driving of course) However with the conditions of roads in Kenya, every time I fall asleep I’m jolted awake by a huge speed bump that we took at 40 mph or sudden breaking and/or laying on of the horn. So I sat awake yesterday and admired the beautiful country side and thought about my time here in Kenya.

The truth is, nothing went as planned. When I got to Kenya everything fell apart and I fell into a depression of sorts, not having a family to live with or a place to work. Then I found an internship and homestay, but either went or ended the way I hoped or thought they would (full story available in person). I went back to live with Nkita and worked on my research project which hasn’t played out how I planned. I was going to travel but things didn’t work out. I went to the village and did my community project but it proved extremely challenging and frustrating (my family in the village was amazing btw). I knew things wouldn’t be easy in Africa, but I never thought they would be this difficult. I know this is vague and I’m sorry. I’m not ready to share all of mishaps with the cyber world just yet.

I know this is turning into a bummer post and that’s not the point. The point is a lot has happened in Kenya. I’ve really loved my time here, mishaps and all. I had a lot of expectations coming to Kenya and ideas about how things would work, but nothing went as planned. But I think that’s Africa. Kenya had it’s own plan of how things should go and what it wanted to teach and show me. Although things played out in a unexpected manner, I wouldn’t change anything. Each and every mishap taught me about myself and the world of Kenyans.

I thought when I was coming to Africa that I would leave with a sense of accomplishment. I don’t have a lot of concrete “accomplishments” here. I didn’t master Kiswahili, I didn’t change Sidai, I didn‘t empower the people of Kenya to solve all their problems. I did, however, learn about the importance of language learning, I now understand the complex orphan situation in Kenya, I now understand complicated the relationship between the aid agencies and people they attempt to help, ect. I knew that I couldn’t change the world, but I thought I would at least do something, but mostly I learned. That’s hard because I never wanted this to be about me. I wanted to give and serve. I wanted my time to benefit the people here. I think it did, maybe not in the way I first thought, but I’ve made great friendships here and I have many “families” throughout Kenya. I tried to give what little I could, a willing mind, friendship, genuine interest. I take with me numerous lessons and experiences.


“Often I feel I go to some distant region of the world to be reminded of who I really am stripped of your ordinary surroundings, your friends, your daily routines, your refrigerator full of food, your closet full of clothes, you are forced into direct experience. Such direct experience inevitably makes you aware of who is having the experience. That’s not always comfortable, but it is always invigorating” Michael Crichton Travels

I love this quote. I think it’s true. I’ve come in contact with a “self” that I don’t see very often. A vulnerable, emotional, and exposed self. A self who constantly has to admit that she doesn’t understand or get what is going on. I think that meeting my true self in Kenya has been valuable and frightening in so many ways. Uncomfortable doesn’t even describe it.

I was sad to leave the village. I’m still writing up my report from there. I’m not sure how that’s going to go. I returned to Nairobi and hit the ground running. My goal to finish all my interviews this week and then havetwo my last weeks to write write write and spend time with friends.

I'll write soon about all my wonderful times in the village.

Recap!

I know it’s been forever and I apologize!

Your probably wondering what I’ve been up too the past three weeks so here’s a recap:

I set out with Steve, an American from Alaska who lives and works in Kenya six months out of the year. He is good friends with Ruth. Ruth is one of my good friends here and I’m staying with her family in the Village. Anyway we made the 7 hour journey to Kisumu. We arrived at Ruth’s house and I met her family. I knew right away that I was going to love staying there. Plus the village is incredibly beautiful. I love watching the sun set through the tall trees and sitting outside and seeing SO MANY stars. Seriously I want to build myself a mud hunt and stay forever.

I went with Ruth and Steve to his village where he stays in Umoya about an hour from Masogo. He has built himself a concrete house directly in the village. The place was beautiful and only a km away from the lake. We hung out with the people from his village, ate fish, and relaxed. His place us super remote no electricity, I have no idea where the closest “stores” were. You really feel like your out in the middle of nowhere. It was a little too much isolation for me, but the people were so kind and the place was beautiful.

I haven’t mentioned the rain. There has been so MUCH rain. El nino came about three months late. I remember they said the rains would come in September. I’m from the Pacific Northwest so rain is usually no big deal for me but rain here has been a HUGE deal. Large parts of the country are suffering from floods and a lot of the crops have been ruined due to the heavy unexpected rains. It’s a mess. It’s so frustrating because rain is so needed here, but then it comes in such a harsh and destructive way,people are worse off. Since so many of roads around here are mud movement is next to impossible. We couldn’t leave Steve’s place because his car was unable to get out of the mud.

We finally made it out with lots of help and back to Ruth’s village. I’ve been hanging out in her village doing my community life course in which I’m learning about what gives life to the community of Kadibo. It's been really interesting and I'm learning a lot.

I took a break from the mud and went to Nakuru for a week to visit friends. It's so great to have so many "homes" here in Kenya. I met Margaret in Nairobi through Atara. Margaret is my Kiswahili teacher and has become one of my dearest friends here. She’s actually heading off to the states next week! She’s going to Texas to live. It’s been fun explaining the airport procedures to her and a little bit of what to expect. I’m so excited for her and I know she’s going to do great. I’m hoping to visit Texas this summer. Anyway I’ve been hanging out with her family. Anne, her daughter is my age and we’ve become good friends. We went to the Thomson falls which was beautiful, but we couldn’t hike, because thugs hid and rob people. You have to hire security if you want to actually explore the falls. Such a bummer.

So now I’m back in the village finishing up interviews and enjoying quiet, peaceful ,beautiful village life. I wish I had more time here. I’m going back to the 28th. I still need to finish my research project about children’s homes and I need to spend about a week just writing all these papers. I’ve done a lot but I still have A TON to do. I can’t believe that I go next month. Where did the last five months go? I remember getting to Kenya and thinking, six months is so long and now it feels incredibly short.

So I know my blog isn’t always very insightful nor poetic. I apologize. I assure you I’ve gained a lot of insight and I’ve learned so much and I’ve had some really challenging dark times here in Kenya. But it’s hard for me to know how to share that in this setting. But if you care to know the “deeper” stuff I’d love to share with you in person next month!

On a lighter note here’s some cultural insight I’ve gained in the last five months. I composed this list with Anne.

1. “I’m pressed” translates into “I really need to use the bathroom”

2. If you have diarrhea , you are “driving.” Luckily, I haven’t done too much driving in Kenya.

3. If you want to tell someone they look nice, you say “wow, you look smart”

4. Talking behind someone’s back is referred to as back-biting. Don’t be a back bitter!

5. Since all cell phones operate on pre-paid credit, people often don’t have credit so they will “flash you” to let you know they want you to call them. You also flash people so they can know your number. I’ve been “flashed” many times and I’ve “flashed” people on many occasions.

6. There is always room for one more or five more in a matatu (mini bus).

7. If you are annoyed, frustrated, worried, or anxious, the best way to communicate this is to say “I’m disturbed” or whatever is causing the annoyance, worry, or frustration is “disturbing you” I’ve started saying this.

8. If you yawn, you will be asked if your hungry. Yawning during the day means you’re starving.

9. If you’re a little overweight you will be told so. “Wow your so fat!” “You’ve gotten so big” “Maybe you shouldn’t eat so much” “I didn’t realize you were so big” “You’ve loss weight, you were soooo big when you came” These are all complements I’ve been given.

10. If the temperature is on the cooler side and you don’t have a sweater of some sort on, you will be asked if your feeling cold. Again and Again. But really it’s out of concern, because they don’t want you to get sick. It’s very sweet that so many take such an interest in my well being.

11. If you say you might do something, or you’ll maybe do something, people will say you “promised” and that you have to do it.

I’m writing this with my good friend Anne sitting next to me. She thinks I’m back-biting Kenyan culture and making fun. I’m trying to ensure her that I love all of these things and they have become apart of me while I’ve been here, but at the same time I find some humor in them as well. I love Kenya.