back in the city

I’m back in Nairobi. I took the 9 hour bus journey (that includes stops and traveling to and from the bus stations). It’s hard for me to travel long distances on public transportation here, because I always fall asleep if I‘m in a moving vehicle for more than 20 minutes (except if I'm the one driving of course) However with the conditions of roads in Kenya, every time I fall asleep I’m jolted awake by a huge speed bump that we took at 40 mph or sudden breaking and/or laying on of the horn. So I sat awake yesterday and admired the beautiful country side and thought about my time here in Kenya.

The truth is, nothing went as planned. When I got to Kenya everything fell apart and I fell into a depression of sorts, not having a family to live with or a place to work. Then I found an internship and homestay, but either went or ended the way I hoped or thought they would (full story available in person). I went back to live with Nkita and worked on my research project which hasn’t played out how I planned. I was going to travel but things didn’t work out. I went to the village and did my community project but it proved extremely challenging and frustrating (my family in the village was amazing btw). I knew things wouldn’t be easy in Africa, but I never thought they would be this difficult. I know this is vague and I’m sorry. I’m not ready to share all of mishaps with the cyber world just yet.

I know this is turning into a bummer post and that’s not the point. The point is a lot has happened in Kenya. I’ve really loved my time here, mishaps and all. I had a lot of expectations coming to Kenya and ideas about how things would work, but nothing went as planned. But I think that’s Africa. Kenya had it’s own plan of how things should go and what it wanted to teach and show me. Although things played out in a unexpected manner, I wouldn’t change anything. Each and every mishap taught me about myself and the world of Kenyans.

I thought when I was coming to Africa that I would leave with a sense of accomplishment. I don’t have a lot of concrete “accomplishments” here. I didn’t master Kiswahili, I didn’t change Sidai, I didn‘t empower the people of Kenya to solve all their problems. I did, however, learn about the importance of language learning, I now understand the complex orphan situation in Kenya, I now understand complicated the relationship between the aid agencies and people they attempt to help, ect. I knew that I couldn’t change the world, but I thought I would at least do something, but mostly I learned. That’s hard because I never wanted this to be about me. I wanted to give and serve. I wanted my time to benefit the people here. I think it did, maybe not in the way I first thought, but I’ve made great friendships here and I have many “families” throughout Kenya. I tried to give what little I could, a willing mind, friendship, genuine interest. I take with me numerous lessons and experiences.


“Often I feel I go to some distant region of the world to be reminded of who I really am stripped of your ordinary surroundings, your friends, your daily routines, your refrigerator full of food, your closet full of clothes, you are forced into direct experience. Such direct experience inevitably makes you aware of who is having the experience. That’s not always comfortable, but it is always invigorating” Michael Crichton Travels

I love this quote. I think it’s true. I’ve come in contact with a “self” that I don’t see very often. A vulnerable, emotional, and exposed self. A self who constantly has to admit that she doesn’t understand or get what is going on. I think that meeting my true self in Kenya has been valuable and frightening in so many ways. Uncomfortable doesn’t even describe it.

I was sad to leave the village. I’m still writing up my report from there. I’m not sure how that’s going to go. I returned to Nairobi and hit the ground running. My goal to finish all my interviews this week and then havetwo my last weeks to write write write and spend time with friends.

I'll write soon about all my wonderful times in the village.